Have you ever had a conversation where you were convinced that the other person just wasn’t getting what you were saying? Sometimes that’s just because they don’t understand the topic. But other times the problem is far deeper. Sometimes it’s a difference in worldview that amounts to a chasm.

A classic example is the abortion debate. People on both sides simply cannot understand why their opponents don’t see what they see, grasp what they grasp. The fundamental problem is differing worldviews.

For the pro-lifer the issue is about the sanctity of human life. It is very clear cut. In a world of absolutes, killing an innocent is absolutely wrong. Nothing can change that. But the typical abortion supporter doesn’t live in a world of absolutes. For them, nothing is ever absolutely wrong. Right and wrong have to be weighed against other consideration, like how having a baby will impact the life of the mother. They are not hindered by absolute considerations of right and wrong. Things just aren’t black and white for them.

The same problem appears over and over throughout life. Perhaps not so dramatically, but it is there. Let’s take the criminal justice system as an example.

For those who believe in absolutes, including an absolute standard of right and wrong, crimes must be punished if justice is to be served. It’s not about payback per se, it’s about justice and it’s about protecting society.

But we’ve all heard arguments about how incarceration isn’t effective or we should be focused on rehabilitation. Now even those who believe in absolutes agree that rehabilitation is a worthy goal but it doesn’t take precedence over punishment. The other side, however, is more interested in how the criminal became the way he is. They look for reasons and, ultimately, for someone else to blame. If only society were different, if only the criminal had a better childhood. But none of that addresses the fundamental wrongness of the criminal’s actions. Their argument says that the criminal isn’t really responsible for his actions.

You see, with absolutes comes responsibility. If a thing is wrong, I am responsible if I do that thing. The price may be great or small but I am responsible. But if nothing is absolutely and always wrong, there is no responsibility. I can make an excuse for anything and everything.

We see this happening all around us every day. We’ve gone from a society built largely on personal responsibility to a society resting on entitlements. But as they say in psychology, that is only the presenting problem, not the root issue. An entitlement mentality is certainly a problem but where did it come from? Those of us who believe in absolutes don’t understand the thinking that leads to it and when we debate those who think that way, we don’t get very far because we aren’t even in the same book, much less on the same page.

So don’t be surprised when you, as a Christian, have trouble communicating with someone who holds a worldview different from your own. Make sure you are careful about defining terms. When the other person uses a term that you are familiar with but in a way that seems inconsistent to you, clarify that term. Make sure you are talking about the same thing. And don’t be surprised when, after all that, you are still unable to get through. They are operating from a completely different set of assumptions about the world and how it operates than you are.